Bliss
by OldSecrets
Summary: [Sakura.Syaoran]The one time she was willing to tell him, He didn’t want to know.
1. Chapter One

Title: Bliss

Summary: The one time she was willing to tell him, He didn't want to know.

Rated: PG

Disclaimer: I could so be Clamp.. What, with my five different personalities and all.

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Enjoy

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Syaoran's PoV.

For all the years I'd been around her, I couldn't help but shift uncomfortably in her presence once in a while. This feeling I had, this _knowing_.. I couldn't shake it from the iron grip it had on my chest. There always seemed to be this underlying sense of regret around her; her strawberry pupils always seemed to glisten with held-back tears, and I could never comfort her from the thing I knew not of which made her sad.

And that was what it seemed to be. _Sadness_. The plainest word to describe it, and also the most meaningful.

I never asked her why she'd always acted so; never tried to fit the puzzle together. It seemed at the time, had I asked, it would have been the enzyme to have set her to tears. And though I cared so much about her Another detail I had figured out much later, I was unwilling to be the one to cause her emotional hurt.

It carried on like this for a very long time, so it seemed. And on one of those nights held in the long time that this had dragged, we found ourselves on a stoop; The stoop that lead entry into her home, only, she seemed unwilling (as she was with many things) to go inside.

We sat on the cold concrete for a very long time, I think. She began to shudder occasionally with a chill, but she did not seem to mind the want of warmth her body seemed to plead for; She was deep in thought. Her nose was wrinkling with the familiarity I had identified it with, and her eyes held a far out gaze that seemed to shade her hues to a deeper color.

And as she was lost to her gaze, I found myself lost within mine. Then I had been to young to take in the fragility of her features; The soft pink underneath both eyes; the strawberry blonde wisps that defiantly played around her face and shoulders; the way she continued to bite nervously upon her bottom lip so that it became red and puckered...

It didn't dawn on me that her gaze had shifted, until I looked up and was met by her eyes.

"Syaoran-kun." My browed furrowed at her voice- it rang with cruel finality. And I realized she was going to tell me something I had been needing to know for a very long time now, but I found myself hopefully seeking the blissful ignorance she had allowed me. I no longer wanted to know of this thing her words echoed with.

I said nothing in return. She must have seen it in my eyes, because she looked down at her hands with a guilty look. Her palms were both pressed on the dirty concrete that they both sat on, and he watched as they curled into small, loose fists.

"Syaoran-kun...Gomen ne..."

She looked up at me, her pupils sparkling in the glow the porch light above them gave off. I jerked my head away, glaring heatedly at the step.

She was crying.

"I have to tell you, Syaoran-kun.. I'm-"

"Iie."

I turned to look at her, and saw the look of confusion that stared back at me. Her brows were furrowed, and her mouth was slightly ajar at being cut off so abruptly. All I could do, then, was smile sadly back at her. _This_ was the Sakura I'd missed. The Sakura who was full of naivety, and clumsiness. The Sakura who wasn't always so sad.

"Iie, Sakura. Don't tell me."

Her features softened, and tears were running down her cheeks again. She leaned forward, placing all her weight on her palms, a frustrated look in her eyes. She _wanted_ to tell me. She didn't want to hold it in, and harbor guilt at not telling me. But, I was selfish.

"Li, I have to tell you that I'm-!"

I was selfish, and I wouldn't let her tell me. Instead, I wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her forwards into my embrace. I felt her stiffen, but then, I didn't care. It was almost as if I knew Sakura _wouldn't_ be there anymore. That that smile I would no longer see. So I pulled her closer, and rested my forehead on her shoulder. My eyes burned with unshed tears, but I would not let them out.

"Onegai, Sakura.... I don't want to know. Please, don't tell me."

I pulled away, looking at her again with some semblance of a smile. She looked desperately at me, her hands clenched in tight fists on her knees now. But soon, she relented. Her shoulders slumped, and she returned the barest hint of a smile.

"Hai, Syaoran-kun."

Moments later, I watched as she stumbled wearily back into her house, and again as she smiled at me through the crack in the door before it shut. Seconds later, the porch light flickered out, and I realized I was left in the dark of reality. I turned and left quickly, avoiding all shadows and the constant reminder they carried.

That night, it took me past early hours to fall asleep, and I dreaded going to my school. For the lovely cherry blossom whom I adored wouldn't be there.

And as the morning came, and classes began, I peered over to her desk with a low sigh, before forwarding my gaze at the chalkboard in front of me.

I'd been right.

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Sakura's PoV

She'd tried to tell him. Honestly, truly, without a doubt tried. It had taken her three years of raising her courage and fighting down blushes to do so, but she thought it had been worth it.

But he said _no_. He'd said he _didn't want to hear it_. Didn't want to hear what she was finally ready to tell him. And now, he was gone, and she was crying. Her back had hit the door after she'd shut it, and her legs felt like they couldn't hold her any longer.

Why had he said no? Did he know what she was going to say to him?

Her brother, for the most part, continued to watch in hopeless silence. He didn't want to intrude, but he wasn't going to let her out of his sight for the most part. He had already chalked up her tears to another cause, anyways. he didn't know it was her friend who was responsible for them. When her tears finally dried, he walked over to her, ruffling the sandy wisps atop her head.

"Have you finished packing, kiddo?"

"Hai, Oniisan. All my luggage is already upstairs."

He smiled and started for the kitchen, glancing back at her as he disapeared into the room.

"You said goodbye to your friends, ne? We have to leave early in te morning if were going to make the plane." He called from the stove.

Sakura bit her bottom lip, her gaze darting to the door again.

_Syaoran-kun..._

"Hai, Oniisan. I said goodbye."

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Should I continue this?


	2. Chapter Two

Title: Bliss

Summary: The one time she was willing to tell him, He didn't want to know.

Rated: PG

Disclaimer: I could so be Clamp.. But sadly, I'm not, and you know it.

Notes: No more 'first person' will be used. At least, not in this chapter. I'm not particularly fond of them.

Enjoy

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Sakura sighed. 

It'd been seven years. Seven long, tedious, love-less years of being away from her childhood town. She reprimanded herself, eyes closing partially over her cherry pink eyes as she smiled into the hazy reflection of her mirror.

Bad, Sakura, _bad._ What have we told ourselves about recollection and remembrance? Whatever it'd been, it was obviously being carefully ignored.

The sixteen year old girl forced herself to turn away from the mirror, padding softly over to her wardrobe as she fingered the uniform blouse and skirt that she would soon have to pull over her head, and pull up to her waist. She smiled again, as her daily routine played in her head. She would then hurry out of her house, tardiness avoided by mere seconds as she would skid into the classroom. After school, she would hang around a little longer with her friends, before coming back home, eating dinner, and drifting into a dreamless sleep.

It hadn't always been like that. Her life, seven years ago, never used to be so predictable. She blamed this sense of inconsistency mainly on Syaoran. It was always he that would get them into the less serious forms of trouble, and at the receiving end of their teachers' reprimands. If he wasn't teasing her about one thing, than they were arguing about another. Taunting on both parts usually involved the words 'baka gaki' and 'kaijuu', and other creative spur of the moment names. Back in those days, something exciting would happen on a day to day basis, assuring Sakura Kinomotou that she would never face a day of normalcy as long as the notorious Syaoran Li was around.

But, things changed. One day, her father informed her brother and herself that they would be moving closer into the city because he'd had a raise. Sakura had, at first, been excited, and praised her father with a congratulatory hug. But then the words sank in.

_Moving_. That meant...

No more Syaoran?

How was she going to tell him that?

Gently, Sakura lifted her uniform from where it hung on it's hanger, pulling it off, and crossing the room towards her bed to lay it on the mattress. Her eyes were still far away, though, as she distractedly began to strip herself of the pajamas she wore, and pull said blouse over her head.

A few days after she'd found out- the eve before they left- she'd decided to tell him about it. Of course, there had been something else she'd wanted to say as well. But she hadn't gotten the chance to tell him. He'd denied her words before they came out, and in the end, all she had gotten out of it was a goodbye hug, and a few whispered words in her ear.

She finished dressing as her eyes narrowed, a blush settling underneath her eyes as she picked up her schoolbag from the floor, pausing before she opened the door.

Since then, she'd tried to instill a sort of hatred for the boy into her heart, any sort of dislike would have done, really.

But she cared and loved to much for her emotions to listen, and all it had concluded in was more heartache, and a slight headache. Dropping her head with an audible sigh, she let her eyes wander to her wrist watch, and she paused for a moment.

Across the house, Touya groaned at his daily wake-up call, which consisted of "HOOOOEEE! I'M LATE!" Which was followed by footsteps thundering down the stairs, a skid on the wood floor, and concluded with the creak and slam of a door.

Slowly, he raised the back of his palm to his forehead, closing his eyes at the sunlight that drifted in through the blinds. He needed coffee.

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Somewhere across the province, Syaoran Li had awoken abruptly with a throbbing headache. He opened his eyes, the sun (which he tried to hide every night behind tightly drawn curtains) shone through his window, catching the gold in his eyes before he let them close while rolling over onto his stomach. 

The boy could only mildly assume that today was going to be 'one of _those_ days'. The ones that seemed to drag on forever, without any real purpose or cause to their name. It was times like these that Syaoran Li considered the benefits of a certain caffeinated beverage.

No longer drowsy, the last heir to the Li clan managed the simple task of kicking off his duvet, continuing to swing his legs around so that his toes swayed above the soft carpeting that covered almost half of his house. He took a brief moment of pause, a crease forming between his brows as he surveyed the room.

Already, Syaoran Li had picked up a change- so subtle was it that he was surprised that even _he_ had been able to detect it. Pushing himself onto his feet, the bow found himself frowning, unconsciously raising a hand to scratch the back of his head in wonder. His eyes wavered over every object; the desk with little to nothing on it; his two Katana's that sat in their holdings on the far wall; his unmade bed; the side desk with the alarm clock on it...

Syaoran managed a double take at the clock, surprised at what it was telling him. Now it read '730am' in bright, bold characters. Which was strange, as class started at '7:20am', and usually Syaoran woke up around dawn.

Cursing subtly under his breath, the 16 year old managed to all but throw himself at his closet, brushing by fighting clothes and summer kimono's to grab at his uniform. Then, with the grace of a hunted wolf, he all but ripped his clothing off, managing to dress himself in an all time record of 15 seconds. Glancing once more to the clock, Syaoran shouldered his black bag, and left through the front door in 7 seconds flat.

Already, it was beginning to be one of those days.

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**Reviewer response**

**Enticing**: Much appreciated. Sorry you were eagerly awaiting for six months.


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